I have to admit that I feel a bit of judgment creeping in from myself about these writings.  Not about doing them exactly, but sharing them.  But let me remind myself that I and countless others watch YouTube videos of people’s everyday lives.  I don’t know how what I say will affect another who reads it.  As humans, just knowing that we’re not alone goes a long way.  Even knowing that we’re not alone in our misery is oddly comforting.  

To date, I only have two of them published on my blog.  I was really, really hoping that I could have finished setting up my Home page on the blog before I left.  If I can just do the basics so that it’s more presentable instead of a bunch of placeholders that came with the theme, I’ll be satisfied for now.

Last night, instead of listening to the excuses of my mind and letting that stop me, I sat in bed with my folding desk tray and connected with Sanat for a conversation.  It was a test.  Was I really too tired to do it?  At that moment, no.  And Sanat will tell me if I am.  He’ll send me off by saying that I need rest and we’ll talk tomorrow or later.  I’m not exactly remembering what we talked about because my brain is still morning-fuzzy, so I’ll re-read it later.  I remember, though, he said some interesting things.  

Before we talked, I had the idea of blending my Awareness with his consciousness.  I have to tell you, that felt amazing.  Usually I just connect with his Heart, which also feels wonderful.  I also asked him to become more manifest in my present moment—a cue I took from the Embodying with Compassion sequences—and that also facilitated our connection.  

Facilitated—he talked about that.  Something he’s doing for me.  I was happy about it, whatever it was that he said.

Yesterday I did get a lot accomplished in preparation for our Christmas trip tomorrow.  I successfully hooked up a 3-pronged timer for my heat lamps in the greenhouse and one timer for one grow light.  The timer I bought for the last grow light is digital and it needed more set up time.  

I really wish I had bought two of those 3-pronged—they have 3 outlet plugs, I mean, on one cord.  Those plugs have 3-pronged plugs, which the digital timer does not have (it will only accept a two-pronged plug).  So, I’m going to see if an adapter will be sufficient to make it work.  Or maybe a nearby store has the 3-outlet timers, except that it only has a dusk-to-dawn function or set number of hours—neither of which is helpful at this point.  

The lows will be getting into the 20s, so I’m glad that I have the heat lamps on a timer.  After I’m finished with these Pages, I intend to go check that they worked properly last night.  It only got to 40 degrees here; the forecast was 35.  

I plugged the heated kitty house back in.  I wish Lloyd would use it and keep warm there.  I think I’ll pull the porch curtains loose before we go.  They are sheers and I’ve caught Lloyd through the porch camera hanging out in the corner looking through the curtains outside.  As kitties do, I’m sure he felt hidden and safe there.

I hired someone through Rover to come once a day and leave food for him.  We did this before for our last trip to Florida and the sitter worked out well.  He’s going to put out our deer corn, fill water bowls I have outside for the wildlife and look after the birdfeeders.  

My husband will be arriving up here later today after he picks up the Christmas ham from Honey-Baked.  I think he forgot he could have picked it up at a store in Florida—I think.  Maybe I’m misremembering.  

I have to say, though, that I didn’t feel nearly as lonely this week since he’s been gone.  We talked most days, as usual.  Was it these Pages that made the difference, or the New World of Love activations?  Both?  I don’t think I mean ‘loneliness’ in the usual sense.  My Line 4 in my Human Design profile signifies that I am designed to make connections with people, which is probably why it’s important that I share these Pages.  They have to be heart-felt connections, not just being a party girl.  

But if I can’t connect with people on a physical level, which is often, then I really need to practice my Design by connecting with higher beings (I didn’t want to just say “non-physical” because that’s a broad category)—Beings of Love, including my Higher Self.  I don’t need people, but a large part of my purpose means I connect people together.  

Where are those people?  So far it hasn’t happened on a physical level.  What few friends I have are scattered around the country.  We don’t talk often.  So, when one door remains closed—the physical one—I have to choose the inter-dimensional one.  

I think because I’ve spent so much time doing that—connecting with Beings of Love interdimensionally—that it took away my fear of dying.  I know the Love beyond this veiled life.  Sometimes I think what a great cosmic joke it would be if I got to the other side and realized I made all this spiritual stuff up and Sanat wasn’t actually real.  That I misinterpreted things.  I suppose that’s my ego mind.  When I’m experiencing the connections, the Love feels more than real.  

The way I look at it, even if I did make all of this up, it got me to open my Heart and live a life of Love.

That’s what matters most.