This is my first Sunday doing Morning Pages since being back home from pet sitting.  This means that I’m not writing first thing in the morning.  I usually drive an hour to have breakfast with my dad at 7 AM.  I barely manage to get up at 5 AM to get on the road, so Morning Pages have to wait until after breakfast.  

My dad told me something disturbing about my mom.  He said she eats so many sweet foods and is complaining that she can’t walk well.  And she’s gained more weight.  

On the drive to breakfast this morning, she was on my mind – not in a good way at first.  I had to do a forgiveness practice.  I was shown that she’s making her own choices.  I felt moved to receive a Compassion Lightray transmission for her for whatever she needs the most. 

And then my dad tells me about her eating.  

I do have empathy for her.  I heard my mom earlier this year refer to herself as “feeding her pig face.”  It appalled me to hear her refer to herself this way.  

However, I know the self-destructive tendencies that come with hating one’s self.  I’ve been there.  I keenly felt the effects of self-hatred until I finally felt the Love of my Soul – of who I am.  And I learned ways to start healing and merging with my Greater Self.  If it wasn’t for that, I might have been in the same boat as my mother.  

Or almost.  

I’ve had some amazing spiritual experiences, and I came to know that the pain I felt was not who I really was.  Who was I without this pain?  That’s the question that drove me for a while and kept me seeking my True Self.  

My Greater Self became a beacon calling out to me.  That journey began during my teenage years when I had my first awakening to Source Creator and one major experience with Source shortly after that.  The powerful Love that poured into me during that experience awakened a desire to be a conduit for that Love into the world.  But I knew that I had to heal my emotional wounding, which seemed to encompass more than this lifetime.

Later, the path to Divine Union that would enable me to become that Conduit became revealed as me needing to merge with my Expanded Self – the rest of me that was not embodied.  I saw that step as my necessary link to further experiencing Source Creator and that step could not be skipped.  There can actually be no Union with God on a continual basis if there is any vestige of self-hatred remaining.  

What a long journey this has been!  Facing one’s self when that self-hatred is present is no easy task.  We need to be surrounded with a great deal of Divine Love in order to face that.  

This is why I do feel such empathy for my mother.  But while she has pushed me away on the physical level, I have the ability to surround her with The Divine Compassion Lightray, which has helped me so much.  If I can keep providing the energy environment of Love for her, perhaps she will find it easier to face the tangled web of dark emotions that she’s been caught in.  

I really don’t see how we can do these kinds of things alone.  Our limited perception paired with dark, negative emotions create a downward spiral of increasing force.  Only higher intervention can pull us out.

I just remembered my mom’s Guardian Angels.  I can directly speak to them.  

Love always wins – eventually – but the more I activate it on her behalf – the sooner Love can win.

I keep saying that she’ll realize what she’s done after she crossed over and she will be surrounded by so much Love as she has that Life Review.  But she needs to do as much healing as she can while in a body.

We all have to do that.  And we don’t escape what is left undone.  We’ll have to come back in another body and try again to realize what we failed to see before.  Without a body on the other side, we see it.  But our Suit – our mind/body complex – keeps reincarnating because we have to correct where we went wrong.  Or something like that.  That may be a more general overview. Each person’s Soul Mission may have different aspects.  But for those who have created a lot of misery for others, that has to be corrected on the physical level, either in the current life or another.

I’ve been given messages over the years from others or my own higher connections that I’m to walk a specific path that’s different than most.  I’m part of a specific Soul Group that has been hidden until it was too late for dark forces to do anything about us.  Another person doing a reading for me saw me surrounded at that time by so much protection.  She thought, at first, that I must be prone to accidents (and that’s why I had all that protection), but that has never been my experience.

And I’ve always gotten the impression from my guide and SoulMate that no one could come to me on the non-physical levels without going through him.  I’ve always felt that protection and thus have felt safe when interacting with him.

The point is that there is so much more going on with our lives than we are aware of.  We have to open our Hearts and connect with our Souls to know who we truly are, why we are here and awaken our of the Veil of Forgetfulness.

So that we can be living embodiments of Love.