It’s quite early – 5:08 AM.  I’m doing Sunday breakfast with my Dad at 7 AM, so in order to do these Pages I had to get up extra early.  

For some reason I woke up shortly after 4:30 from a strange dream.  Then Tilly, one of my pet sitting dogs, came back to snuggle with me in bed.  Fortunately I’m pet sitting much closer to the restaurant so I’m hoping that I can complete the three pages.

The ending of the dream gave me pause and I want to record it before it slips away.  I saw a sign that referred to the purpose of my death.  It said, “Purpose:  RIP knowing.”  Before that it seemed that I was getting some kind of reading of my life – or about my life.

It’s sort of becoming hazy what was happening.  I’m not sure if I already knew I was dying.  Was a Guide helping me understand something?  Or was it the influence of the strange death of an actress that I watched before going to bed?  I don’t generally remember dreams, so when something sticks to me from a dream, it feels important.

Today is my last day at the pet sitting job in Charleston.  It’s been a week.  It seemed to pass quickly, as this time of year generally does.  

Just prior to the sitting job, I got the idea to look for something that would hold my index cards that I use to accomplish my projects.  And I found online a set of wooden playing cards holders that are slightly bowed and have three tiers.  I have all my index cards standing vertically on them.  I plan to redo my cards so that I’m writing on them vertically.  I ordered the holders and had them delivered to my pet sitting address.

As I’ve been using this system, I’ve felt a greater sense of satisfaction.  I’ve also discovered that when I do a rotation of micro tasks among the projects that it seems to give me time to see a better next step other than the one I wrote down.  I see it often said online that Manifesting Generators (in Human Design) tend to skip steps but then sometimes have to go back and do the necessary ones.  I’m thinking with my system that I may actually alleviate the need to go back because I’m creating enough of a time gap for a better idea to come to me about that project.

When I viewed my project cards sitting up nicely on the stands, I felt that this is exactly what I’d been waiting for.  I’d been feeling a need for something like this for a long time.  My Bublup app almost fits the bill, but I needed something more physical and, I think, where I could write by hand.  The bullet journal doesn’t really enable me to do the same thing that I’m doing with the cards.

I’m picturing me looking at the cards all at once on the stands and sensing where my energy wants to flow next.  I feel  that when I multi-task this way, it takes away the scattered feeling and the anxiety that goes with it.  I’m able to effectively ride the flow of my energy as it’s designed to do in a way that my mind can comprehend.  Today I’d like to redo the cards and start the practice again now that I have the stands.

I noticed in the past few days that when I was forcing myself to work on a project because I wanted to get it done that things kept going wrong.  Maybe it’s because my energy moves so fast that I have to do a little at a time so that each of my movements have time to integrate with life around me.  A flow that moves too fast among narrow spaces starts backing up and flooding, which creates problems.

Speaking of flow, I’ve also decided today to sit with my Higher Self and start developing a new Reality Phasing system.  

And I think a big part of that is also developing a way to test if something I’m doing or learning from an external source is me being an open or closed circuit.    I was once told that I wouldn’t achieve a particular significant spiritual progress until I become a closed circuit.  I’ve never understood what that meant, so I’ve decided that testing my actions and activities against that parameter will most likely show me how I can be that closed circuit.

I’ve been wondering if trusting or believing in myself is part of that closed circuit.  I’ve stopped doing that and my life has felt quite shallow.  I’ve lost the magic of life.  My desire to be with people forces me to shrink and become small. (Apparently I’ve been trying to be with the wrong kind of people).

It’s time to change.